Wednesday, 30 July 2014

3 is not always a crowd - Temsukumla Ao,Head of Department of Sociology



A good friend is a connection to life- a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse.


On 3rd August 2014 the world will be celebrating Friendship Day which is held on the first Sunday of August every year . True friendship makes everything much more fun and better whether its having a meal, playing games, studying or simply chatting about the latest movies or trends.      

3 is not always a crowd


Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection and intimacy between two or more people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond. Friendship can be found in many types and characteristics like affection, mutual understanding, honesty, sympathy, compassion and trust. They share many things in common. A friend can be anyone; he or she may be your parents, family members, brothers, sisters or other human beings or even your pet animals. Having a good friend is an asset in all areas of life. Friends can help you reinforce individual willpower. Have you ever imagined your life without a friend? I guess none of us have thought about that. Our life without a friend would be meaningless, boring, and not worth living. “A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” (Douglas Pagels)

Many songs and stories have been written on the importance of friendship. Like the song in the Airtel advertisement says- Har ek friend zaroori hota hai-- Chai ke Liye jaise toast hota hai--Vaise har ek friend zaroori hota hai Koi subah paanch baje neend se jagaye Koi raat ko teen baje jaan bachaye Ek teri kadki mein sharing kare Aur Ek tere budget mein sneak in kare Koi nature se guest koi host hota hai Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai (Every friend is necessary, like there is a toast for tea, like that every friend is necessary, some wakes you up at five from sleep, some saves life at three in the night, one shares in your bankruptcy, while others sneaks in to your budget). Friendship is really necessary in everybody’s life; it makes life more fun and interesting. Bruno Mars- Count on Me and Don Williams- You are my best friend, are some meaningful songs based on friendship. Friendship is considered as a shelter, an anchor and someone whom we can count on. “Friendship is a sheltering tree”- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The highly popular television series, Friends, focuses on close knit friendship filled with humour and bittersweet emotion. And in the “Big Bang Theory” the friendship between Leonard and Sheldon takes the form of toleration of each other idiosyncrasies and stay friends for so long. We have such types of friends whom we simply cannot stand sometimes and tolerate and still remain good friends. As E.W. Howe has rightly quoted- “Probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little.” One of the greatest strength in Sherlock Holmes series is also the great friendship that lies at the heart of them (Sherlock and Dr. Watson). Apart from solving cases and investigation they do share a great bond of friendship between them. They share a friendship of trust, virtue and honesty. The Greek philosopher Aristotle writes “Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” One of the popular sitcom- “How I Met Your Mother” is another series where we get to see the unique friendship between Barney and Lily, strong and stable friendship of Marshall and Ted, and the crazy stubborn Barney Stinson with all his madness and challenges to create crazy situations and bet games. Like the quote rightly says: “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” (Robert Brault). On the one hand, “Sex and the City” is really about the strength of friendship, representing women to different personalities in four of them. The urgency we felt in our life sometimes, where we need to have a few minute analyses with our friend over a phone and all our problems and pain seems to fade away. Everyone connects to these characters in one way or the other and it helps us to relate it to our own lives.

I really like Shelley Emling’s Article- “The 5 Types of Friends Everyone Should Have”, where she brings to us five types of friendship worth keeping for: 1)      Friends who make effort, 2) Friends who are genuinely happy for me when something good happens, 3) Friends who are upbeat, 4) Friends who are up for anything and 5) Friends who are authentic. Going through her article and analysing it, I realise how fortunate I amto have friends who fall under each type. Under the first type of friendship I have friends like Moasen and Temsuchila, who make every little effort to call or text me a simple- “Hi”, in spite of their busy schedule, career and childcare duties. I truly appreciate their friendship. Under the second type, I have quite a few friends who would be sincerely and genuinely happy for me when something good happens. In the third type, I have friends like Ngutoli, and Jongpongchila who are optimistic, positive and motivated - they are worth hanging on to. The fourth ones are the carefree and willing ones who are up for anything. Anung, Zucha, Thungde and Mhabe, glad to have friends like you ladies. Finally, the fifth one would not be complete without friends like Sentimen and Akok, who are authentic and steadfast and to whom I can be my own self. I take this time to say how grateful I am to have them in my life.

Even though life and times keep on changing we are not too old to celebrate this Friendship Day.  Friendship has no boundaries of age, time, place or relations. A friend reduces one’s sadness by his sympathy and help, and also increases one’s joy by sharing it. Friendship is both good and necessary so one needs to select friends very carefully. Today, many youngsters face or create problems in society because they fall into the wrong company and make bad friends. Therefore, one needs to choose friends carefully and wisely. Good friends exercise good influence. Though real good friends are hard to find, a friendship with a good person is a precious gift for a lifetime.









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